iron sharpens iron

We all like to think that we would go out on a limb and help out anyone in need. Especially our friends. If you are anything like me, you hold your true friends close to your heart as if they were you brother or sister, and your aquaintences you view as friends that you aren't that close to, but would still help them however you possibly could at any time. Sometimes bridges are burned, and you don't speak for a while. This ultimately comes full circle when you decide at one point that you either don't need the baggage of that person, or you decide that they are important enough to you to make amends any means neccesary.

One example I have involves one of the poeple that I have been close to for almost 10 years now. In 2005 or 06 we had a falling out that was horrible. Some things that didn't involve him built up to a point where, since we hadn't been honest with each other and discussed the matter at hand for one reason or another, he was forced to choose sides on something that, had I been in his shoes I would have done the same thing, and had he been in my shoes he would have probably reacted the same way. In a total moment of anger and frustration I attacked everything that made him the person that I honestly loved him for being. That night was the last time we spoke untill, I guess, January of 2008. Through bull headedness, I lost 2 years with one of my best friends in life. We still aren't as close as we used to be, that hurts my soul.

On another level, however, you have to ask yourself how far would you go for a friend. How badly would you inconvenience yourself? Dan Erb, even though he is a hot head, is the most outgoing person I've ever met that was sincere about it. One time a few years ago, on a night that he should have gone to bed early because he had to work the next morning at like 7, he decided it would be a better idea to throw a birthday party for a couple of girls that we are friends with. After all those chicks got good and loaded we all decided to go home. I lived all the way on the west side of town, and he lived on the southeast side. Well, I ran out of gas like a mile from my house. Dan, at 3 a.m. drives over to where i'm broke down. Then, stays with my zombie drunk wife while I take his car to the gas station to get gas. I get back and he's holding her hair back while she's throwing up. Never one time did he say, you owe me one.

Here's where it gets tricky. 7 years ago when i had my first place, I would have let anybody stay with me that needed to. Wether or not i knew them that well, If they needed a place to crash, I would have offered it. As I got older, I gained more responsibility, and less room in my places. I would still let most bands stay with me if they needed it, or friends that were traveling through, but I couldn't offer anything to just anyone. Now with a wife and a child, and after being burned by people who have stayed with me in the past, I get antsy when people are at my house for more than like an hour or so at a time other than Rogers or Joey or any of my crew of friends. I also find myself with less time to be able to directly help people right away when they need it. I can always talk, but I can't always meet up somewhere, or come get people. Honestly most of my friends never ask.

Is it normal to become more of an intravert the older you get? Is it progression of human beings to go back into the coccoon? The older I get, the more I hold dear the few times that I do get to hang out and act like a kid. Now, moreso than ever, I feel like I live a double life. By day i'm a working father. I go to the grocery store, I work on my budget, I mow the yard, I cook dinner and take care of my little girl. Then every couple of weeks I get to be, for a couple of hours, an obnoxious drunk punk kid that I love to be. Both of these guys are the real me, how is that possible? I have alot more fun with my friends now too. I feel like I'm closer to alot of people than I ever have been. I guess they remind me of the things I love in life that aren't a part of me as a family man.

People give kids shit about how "it doesn't matter, in 2 years you'll be gone, and the hardcore scene will still be here, and i will still be here". I get frustrated when I see that. I know however, the reason this is said isn't because of something as miniscule as a simple show, with a band singing about stuff you agree with, its the fact that the comradery that comes with the sing-a-longs and the relationships that are built with the kids that attend can change like the wind. Its hard to put alot of stock in someone that is going to ride the tailcoat of whatever new trend they find and assemble a new entourage of friends with it. Nobody is going to tell you that, but deep down, the older guys that hang out are just sick of having to actively meet new friends ever 2 or three years. Being skeptical of new people is a defense against being let down.

I've been a good friend to alot of people, I think. I have also been a shitty friend to people and, at times, haven't went out of my way for the people that i really care about, and should go that extra mile for. This week, take some time to sit and think about what you could do to be a better friend to someone. Think about how much everybody that you love truely means to you.

Our only necessities in life are
Food
Clothing
Shelter.
You can get by on that, but it will be long and drawn out. Especially when you can get by with a little help from your friends.
The most important is life itself. Second in line is how you live it.

John Gibson, Joey, Eric, Brian, Dan, Tarvo, Wes, Ben, Derek, Chris, Will
This one's for you.