2005-I'm alive

2005 was a big year for me. Irom was doing pretty good, Aaron had decided that he was going to pursue a new path in life. This meant that he wasn't going to be in irom anymore. It wasn't really a huge bummer, we all saw it coming. He was going to school 5 hours away. These things happen. We went to birmingham to record our new 3 song demo. It was a blast, we were really impressed with the outcome. We knew that we needed either a 2nd guitar player, or a bassist we looked at our options and decided to move rog to guitar and get a new bass player. We practiced with Jon weems. I really wish we would have had him in the band. We chose Mean Dean Kennedy. He was a nice kid, but he had alot of his own things going on. Needless to say, he was a super nice kid tho. I liked being in a band with him for a while. At this point, the hardcore scene in johnson city was developing. We suddenly weren't the only band playing shows. We had other locals to play with. Big Rig were a band by this time, Without Cause from elizabethton, Twisted Logic from kingsport, if looks could kill and probably a few other bands that I don't remember, or didn't know of. I guess by standards of what "hardcore" is none of us were really HC bands. Whatever. Tim and dave were bringing alot of good Metal and hardcore bands to the tri cities. We were kind of in a falling out with the hideaway for a little while, so we played alot of shows at what used to be 7th street pub in bristol. They brought in through the eyes of the dead, Job for a Cowboy, Hoods, and alot of other really good bands. Shows for us were awesome too. We were out of town just about every week it seemed like. I wanted irom to get signed and get huge (as do alot of guys in bands). It kind of hurt my home life, it was like I was a part of this thing, and she was just there. She's an amazing girl for sticking it out with me, when we were making less than liveable income, and ate ramen noodles and did all of that shit that you do when you live alone, and are constantly strapped for cash. We had a few people talk to us.
I got a call from lifeforce records one time, they said that they were interested in us, So did Eulogy/handofhope. Jason Facedown liked our demos, 5point records were into us, but at the time none of these labels would commit. In the long run, Life force would have kicked a handfull of asses. But i'm glad that we didn't get signed to any of those other labels. We aren't in Debt over this band now, so thats a good thing.
Around march i got a phone call that my grandmother had died. I had to go to Iowa with my mother and father for her funeral. It was kind of surreal. I got to see all of my family that i hadn't seen in about 4 or 5 years. They were all doing about the same. I love them dearly. My little cousin leland is probably the wildest assed guy out. He's into lamb of god and he jams guitars nonstop. I wish he lived down here and i could take him to shows with me, and i could say, this is my cousin leland and he kicks ass. I digress. My grandmother was this 4'11 petite little lady. She was the biggest sweetheart i've ever met. She was probably the only reason that i would have ever went back to iowa. I'm not really close with anyone else up there. Don't get me wrong, i love my family, but i don't really ahve a bond with all of them the way i did with her.
that night, to ease the tension, My uncle randy (kicks so much ass), my dad, and I went to the Riverboat casino in davenport IA. To my surprise, A crown and coke was $1. I'm not even fucking joking. I put 5 dollars in the quarter slot and won $250 immediately, so i moved to the dollar slots. I was up then down. I drank probably 10 crowns and coke in a span of 2 hours, so i wasn't on my a-game. I still walked away with 200 bucks. Dad comes and gets me and is like, how much money did you lose pussy? I replied, I made $200 and started laughing hysterically. He apparently had lost about that much on blackjack. We're walking out, and he says. "snif snif", your drunk off your ass aren't you? I kind of laughed, then was like, at least my shirt is tucked in. We went back to the hotel. the next morning there was a cardinal on the windowseal. It was singing untill i woke up and looked at it. It sang a little more and then flew away. It was so weird. My grandmother was obsessed with cardnals. It was on the window seal just long enough to see it, and then think about that. then it flew away.

The next day we took the 13 hour drive back home. Dean's old band Afternoon at the Autopsey were playing, and Dan erb was singing for them. I got to my car, drove to Ireson's in bristol and watched them play. imosh'd.

When april rolled around. Dean, Dan Erb, and myself decided to (spur of the moment) go to Macrock. These were the worst 2 days of dan erbs life up untill this point. We decided to sleep in dan's car. it was a sports car. Both Dean and I were big guys. it was kind of hard. Whatever, we didn't have cash for a hotel. the first night, it was a bunch of shitty, metalcore bands a'la bury your dead, fassw, etc. Dan stomp moshed so hard that he slipped and busted his chin wide open on the floor. I tried to make him feel better and tell him it didn't look that bad. He had a butterfly bandaid on it, adn it was just oozing blood. Poor guy, he had to go to the hospital. i stayed and watched some band that sucked. I'm such a shitty friend that i watched a band over going to the hospital with dan. one day i'll make up for it. Aside from paint it black, and municipal waste, the show was a bust.
Instead of staying there that night i convinced dan that i was alert enough to drive home. About 4 hours into the drive, i fell asleep and ran his car into a guard rail. It was just a side swipe. It could have been buffed out.. I felt like a TOTAL tool. What an idiot.
I was glad to get home.

That may, steve quit Across 5 Aprils. We drove to chattanooga to play his last show with them at the fathom. It was such a fun show. Caldwell from florida played too. This would be one of the funnest shows that year. "i wan't 2 free frosties, God damnit" Just sayin.

After the show there was a party at Jarrod's house. We got so absolutly oblitterated drunk. Rog's wallet chain got stuck to the carpet, and he proglaimed that he was bound by the X. I greco roman wrestled randy in the living room. Then danced to James brown in my socks with jarrod's mom. Wes did a handstand and just leaned up against the wall. It was insane. We were to be in Spruce Pine North Carolina the next day at 6 p.m. We left Jarrod's house at about 2.pm the next day, still drunk. I had to get joey who was straight edge at the time, to drive. He made me so nervous that i just fell back asleep. We made it over the mountain and to spruce pine by 7. We were all hungover and ashamed/stoked of how much we drank. Either way, we smelled/felt like shit. When we got into downtown, I was like who's that black girl in Spruce pine? It was Khia, Then i was like.. oh... It was all of our wives and girlfriends. It was cool, but the last thing i expected to see in spruce pine NC. Good day.

Josh from Soceitey's finest decided we needed a manager, so he was trying to get us signed. We did a weekend in June of 05 to go play with society's finest on one of their 15 regroupings/tours. We drove from here to birmingham alabama to play the first show, we blew both back tires on the way and set ourselves back about 350 bucks at pep boys. Nice. We finally made it to the show, it was pretty cool i guess. Not very memorable. We stayed the night in a church and had to leave at 8:am. That 8 a.m. it was about 90* outside. it was so muggy i almost died. I couldn't wait to get back to chattanooga. We pulled into town around i would say noon. We took our sweet time driving north. When we got into chattanooga, we had nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no money for a hotel. Our friend Jen was going to let us stay with her, but we had to wait untill she got out of class around 2. It was HOT. I'm talking blistering hot. I noticed that down by the bridge there was a fountain/water park looking deal that some kids were playing in. We all were wearing mesh shorts anyway (it was 2005 fuck you!) So we went and played in the water for a hour or so. We got dried off and went to eat at amigo. It was cool. I gave dean $5 of band money to get food with and told him that i didn't have any other money to give him. His meal ended up being like 6.50 I fronted him the 2 bucks, i didn't mind, but i broke his balls for it.
maybe i'm kind of a jerk, i dunno. We went and hung out at jen's house, I slept on her hardwood floor for the majority of the afternoon. We watched a danzig video. and then went and pet her horse. When we were driving back into town we almost ran over a turtle. That was cool. I'm glad we didnt' hit it. Of all the animals out, i think turtles are the most chill and laid back. They don't bother anybody, why fuck withem?

We played at a place called the green martian in East Ridge. It was killer, I saw robby from Rifles at Recess, i hadn't seen him in like 3 or 4 years, he had lost so much weight and seemed to be doing good. Ruiner played that show. It was the first time i had seen them. They were fucking awesome. And killer nice guys. Day of The Dead from portugal were out with them on this tour. They were super nice guys as well.

That summer there were alot of parties at my friend brandon's house in blountville. He had a pool, we likesed to party, so it was the spot. I power chugged a good portion of a handle of svedka vodka at his house on July 3rd I got incredibly drunk, dove through a child size life saver in the pool, didn't make a splash. Rode down the slide with the bottle of vodka in my hands.
Joey kept sayin, "are you thirsty kenney, why yes i am kenney!!" and i kept drinking it like it was a big slam of mountain dew. I got so drunk that i seriously could not walk. I fell down the stairs and in an effort to not fall i grabbed a rope hanging from the steps and rang this bell really loud. Then i ran in circles trying to gain my wits, then i fell face first and puked all over the ground, myself, my brand new white tall tee, and mybrand new white flat bill. Being a 320lb man has its disadvantages, like when you are passed out in someone's back yard and you can't get up. I rolled to dans car, got in and passed out. The next day i had a slip and slide party at my crib. It was amazing. 75 feet of painters tarp, so many beers, so many dudes, so awesome. I have had at least 1 per year since then. They just keep getting better.

Once again it was time for tour. Here's what the tour looked like for this summer
I don't know the dates, so here are the places
London KY- Some rec center at a state park
Chatanooga- Fathom/w secret lives
Nashville- Rockettown
West Virginia- Logan State park
Asheville, NC- Some church
Lincolnton NC- VFW
Savanna GA- Starland CCA

This was one of my favorite tours that we did. It was the only one that dean went on. The first date was in London KY at this rec center. It was pretty cool. We played with some good bands, and afterwards went to Trish's house to spend the night. It was a small house, and there were like 25 people in the house. It was wild. Wes and joey slept in the van, i slept in her brother's bedroom floor. It was one of those situations where its almost surreal that you are there. We slept for a few hours andthen got up to pack and leave. We were making our oatmeal and assorted foods that we had packed for ourselves. I had this Mix pack with cheese its, rice crispy treats and mounds or somethign liek that in it. I had it hidden away so nobody would munch on my grindeage. That will come into play later in the story. Trish's mom asked if we liked cream of wheat. When we said yes, she gave us like 5 boxes. It was cool. We called it Gruel. In a very gilbert Godfree voice i would say Dean come get ya greuel!
The kid from a suburban blood drive was asleep on the couch, and the girl that lived there put a dildo in his mouth. that was enough, i was ready to go. I went to shake dean and wake him. He was sacked out with Trish the dish in the same sleeping bag. Knowing that he showered like probably a week before we left made me cringe at the thought of how bad that sleeping bag must smell. But then i noticed that her hair was perfect. So in wanting to inspect a little further, I pulled a strand of her hair up and the entire motherfucekr came with it. Her hairs were so plastered with hair spray that it just didn't move. Nice. She was a nice enough girl.
I later learned that he "fingerbanged her" Classy.

That day we drove to chattanooga. it was cool. We played with secret lives at the fathom, we drank beers at Buck wild saloon, Jim flirted with heather (the girl that worked there). It was all good. We played and parted ways. We staeyd with Josh a5a that night. I had bought myself (with money i didn't really have extra) a pint bottle of Crown royal and a big slam pepsi. Dean didn't have any money and he wanted to drink a little, so i bougth him a half pint of canadian club for like 2.50 or something cheap like that. i had made my drink, and was about to sip on it, when dean slung the minifridge door open slinging my bottle of crown out and shattering it on the floor. He kind of looked at me with a blank stare, i threw a shirt at him and said. Dean sop at shit up!. We gave him an immense amount of shit. But i don't think anyone else had. We all came from a long line of shit givers, thats what we do. Dean was too stubborn to admit that he fucked up some times, so he would try to white lie his way out of it, unfortunately he usually fell into a mountain of shit by doing so. Who cares. We got about halfway to nashville, and dean was like, i left my backpack at the venue last night. Some bum is probably walking around in my hatebreed shirt. I digress.
That night we played in nashville. It was a super fun show, the venue was nice. We all ate 2 packs of ramen noodles adn were stoked. John weems and Ben farmer just drove down and watched the show. I love those guys. Jamie randall said we could stay with her for the 2 days we had off. She lived in this house with a married couple that i didn't really know about. She was super cool tho. I woke up early the next day and went and got into her pool with a case of budweisers. I just floated and drank. it was heaven. One of the people that lived there came out and asked who i was, and i said. I'm jake whats up? they knew who we were a little later. The people were super nice. Dean told them what happened to him and they (without dean sweet talking them) gave him a carton of cigs and like $70. It helped him out alot. He was able to buy a new gold tip cable and get some food. One thing i never took into consideration when breaking his stones was that he was barely 18, and probably hadn't had to budget money for himself before. It wasn't his fault. But he would do things to bring attention to himself. And that mixed in with the boredom of driving 5 hours a day made him a prime target for all of our ridicule.

The next day we drove to Logan west virginia, USA. It was in the middle of nowhere. We played in a pavillion outside with some band that had a keytar player. He was dead serious too. Everyone was kind of on pins and needles and it was only day 5 haha. When we played we got 3 songs into our set, and a forest ranger shut us down. We then drove into town and paid $70 for a hotel room that was like 8x12. It was like a hallway with a bed. I never called bed, but today i called the fuck out of it. We all showered slept, and watched TV. It was nice. The next day as we were getting ready to leave we watched a national geographic documentary about some native tribe who wore cock guords. They were trying to foce a pig to walk across a bamboo bridge. and thier guoards kept crossing and getting in the way. It was hillarious. We then began our drive to asheville, nc. about 1.5 hours into the trip we were in lovely wise va eating at Wendys. We all are paying for our food. Dean looks at wes and says. hey man, can i borrow 2 bucks. 1 day after that family gave him all that money. He had to buy a bunch of shit for his bass tho, so i can't fault him too much. Wes says why? and he says, cause i only have money for a single combo, and i want a double. Wes had a $.99 jr cheeseburger and a kids drink. hahahaha. I 'll never forget the look on his face. I loved it. Then, the quote of the Decade hits. These two shit ass kids sitting with their still under 21 mom at a table beside us are talking to each other and one says to another, Auye!, Do you love French fries better than Bacon?. I had to take a walk. It was hillarious to me for some reason. We then stopped in big stone gap. one of the most beautiful drives in the tri state area to get gas. Someone in the van takes the chordless telephone. and is making a call to some chick. It was funny. We played with hide the runnaways that night in asheville at this killer church parsonage. it was cool. We came home for the night Dean didn't really have anywhere to go, he couldn't stay with me and crystal because i had other things on my mind. pretty much, everyone did. We dropped him off at seminole ridge to crash a party at one of our friend's apartments. It was a wierd time in our friend's life, he had alot of stuff he had to work out, and so did we. Its a perfect example of how close quarters can brig out the worst in people.
he was at joey's for us to leave again the next day and go to Charlotte. we had a new song called tweeter will take the snaps. it was about our friend dan, who booked our first show in charlotte, he had passed away that year in a motorcycle accident. I was really excited, and nervous to play this song for those dudes. All of our friends were there. TJ, Loy, Luke, drew, cagle, Skippy, Aaron, keenan, all of the spruce pine crew. When we played that song everyone was dancing and going nuts, it made me feel like a million dollars. I wanted to hug everyone there. Funny/assholish thing that i did. When we were driving to the show, we drove by a funeral percession(sp?) and i leaned out the window and screamed "Hell yeah! don't fear the reaper!"
I want to say that we got a hotel room that night too. I don't remember tho. I think we had a hotel room. The next day we drove to Savanna. We had never played there, so we didn't really know what to expect. This place was in the ghetto. But it was cool. The kids were really responsive. We sold some merch, most importantly we had fun and met some new friends. We drove back over the boarder to SC and stayed at their drummers house. We all had 32 oz hurricane's since they didn't have 40 oz. wierd. We chilled in the pool. Rogers got butt assed nude. Totally ruined this kids makeout session in teh kitchen. We woke up a little later than we meant to. the kid that lives there was cool enough to let us sleep in when he left for work. We left the house neat and tidy. Then we Came home.

That night Bigrig was playing at the hideaway. Dean quit the band that night. He went in for one last dance to bigrig and nicole pulled his pants down. he got his shit and left.

When i look back there are things i would have done differently.
It goes to show you never can tell.

2005 was a big year. We played over 100 shows. I'll finish later.
I have work to do.