This is for the Chattanooga Kids

This is a repost from another blog of mine. This was originally posted Nov. 7 2005.
it was a killer fun show, at a time when we played chattanooga alot.
this is about a party we went to back then.

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Monday, November 07, 2005
I have 6 points of interest
1.Chattanooga
2.Buck Wild Saloon
3.Weatherford wfof
4.All Killer, No Filler, Josh Miller
5."THE BOAT"!
6.HOLY SHIT
Here's the Long version for anyone who is in the cold

Chapter One: IROM buck wild in chattanooga; upside down witch vs acme hole Round1
We left for chattanooga around 12:45 ate at ci ci's in knoxville where john got stuck on the roof due to an ill planned climb up the fire escape. and got there around 5, where we encountered about 5 tall lanky african american fellows who informed us taht we (1.) stole a chruch van (2.) John mcmeen is a napoleon dynamite looking mah fuka and last but not least (3) That nigga(Jon) looked like an upside down witch. I was a cartoon with question marks floating around my head on that one. Shaun from stop calling was there. Joey threw a bannana peel out in front of him and he pulled a honey bun out of his pocket and said, I have an "acme hole" and threw it down and just stomped on it.. WoW. Once we were settled Wes, Jon, eric and I went to the buck wild saloon to enjoy some ice cold jack and coke (2 for 1) and encountered a early 20s bartender named heather who was mega bro and knew a friend of mine from asheville. A woman complemented mr. mcmeen on his tattoos. (btw have you seen matt martin's new ones?) Upon my 2nd round of "doubles" heather decided that i needed about 7/8 of the glass to be jack and only 1/8 coke. I whole heartedly concoured. With a decent buzz i headed back over to the fathom to play. There were 300 or so kids Great show, lots of fun. Jaws Featuring Tyler, from stop calling covered Pizza pride from stop calling. I went burzurker. One song into our set i had sweat my buzz out and just felt kind of hammish, nevertheless. After playing and watching the last few bands we bid our farewells and made our way to taco bell then to dustin from with faith or flame's house

Chapter 2 Weatherford the impaler:

Upon pulling into dustin from with faith or flame's house all of our prior conceptions of this band being a gaggle of squares quickly exited the back door when Sir weatherford the extravagent made his descent down the hill holding what appeared to be a home made beer funnel. We weren't in much of a party mood this particular night, and since i had already been drinking i funneled one for good measure then just went and chilled out. Weatherford, however had already funneled 6 beers by the time we showed up.. Funneled. wow. We would later learn that his funnel factor was 20 by 4:30 a.m. I found him at 7:00 a.m. laying face down in the floor with his arms spread out like jesus. He also has hair to his ass.

Chapter 3: All Killer, No Filler, Josh Miller

Miller is a semi pro wrestler. Miller is a hardcore wrestler. Miller was extremely wasted saturday night and he kept telling us how awesome he was and showing us his myspace. We chanted miller's name and he tried to chug a southpaw light. and spilled it down the front of his shirt. He has long hair and is a grown ass man. He does merch for wfof i think. Miller was staying steady to the ladies and he showed them a picture of himself on myspace bloody and all. But he informed them that it is all an act and that you shouldn't worry about him. he also explained the hardcore wrestling technique of stabbing yourself in the head and bleeding errwhere.

Chapter 4: The boat sets sail while cory taylor grounds himself.

Meeting new people is always fun, especially when you meet someone who you aren't really for sure if they are for real or not. Never before has this been soo true as saturday night. exactly 36 hours ago i was so randomed out that had i been drinking i would have probably burst into flames. The boat his a man named paul jarvis, but you call him "the boat" He is into Freak nasty shit. He told us stories of his sex capades with older women, Morbidly obese women, golden showers, and video cameras. The kind of conversations that make you feel bad for hearing. The boat also has his own rap song. He brought a girl into the bedroom we were all trying to sleep in. and he waslike hey guys can i check my myspace. he sat the girl down and turned on some r&b. I laughed so hard i developed a headache and a cough. He promptly left. Soon after young cory taylor came stumbling into the bedroom with a knot on his forehad and passed out on the bed then fell right into derek's warm embrace. Then just layed there stinkin for a minute. I was pretty sure he was dead.. Nope, just stone cold drunk
Chapter 5: Big Killer Josh Miller VS. Weatherford the astonishing Round 1.
When men get drunk they do stupid things. Mr. Miller wanted to swap licks with weatherford. I convinced them that it would be a good idea to let weatherford punch miller in the face that way it would be fair. Miller punches weatherford in the arm hard enough to make him mad them miller went to tend to some ladies for a minute. while he was gone we gave weatherford a pep talk about how he needs to step up and be the alpha male. Then he punched miller in the face soo hard that it hurt me.. Then the rick flair chopped each other, then they hugged and split apart, and continued thier antics by this point i had a mustache drawn on my face with a sharpie and a huge question mark looming over my head.
Chapter 6: The Surreal life
Nothing seemed real saturday. It was the most random, ridiculous shit i have ever encountered. While we were all going to sleep people just kept wilding out. and eric kept putting his feet on me. and at that point it occured to me that if bozo the clown had bust his red haired ass through that door juggling some flaming bowling pins or chihuahas it wouldn't have phased me a bit I was in overload. I love fun people
Reference
"the boat" http://www.myspace.com/pauljarvis
"miller" http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=7707313&Mytoken=23F45D48-59E0-4E0C-9EEECC583200C3D0420572828
"weatherford" http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=4788828&Mytoken=23F45D48-59E0-4E0C-9EEECC583200C3D0420572828
With Faith Or Flames http://www.myspace.com/withfaithorflames
"dustin" http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=29472458&Mytoken=23F45D48-59E0-4E0C-9EEECC583200C3D0420572828

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